It’s heartbreaking to see kids struggle with cancer treatment and cope with the sudden disruption of their life. It is very challenging on every front — physically, emotionally and mentally. But it’s remarkable how resilient and graceful kids can be despite the chaos! So hang in there, all will be well… Here are some things that have helped our kid stay safe and positive through this trying period (sorry for the long post).
On the physical front:
- Keep the house clean, change linens every couple of days, if not, every week.
- Wear a mask whenever near visitors or while stepping out.
- Avoid visitors if they have a cold, cough or other germs.
- Use soap or hand sanitizers liberally (we put one in every room so we don’t forget).
- Help kids stay active — a 1/2 hour walk in the neighborhood, or turn on their favorite music and dance! It helps the muscles stay strong, and prevents walking disorders.
- Nutrition is important, unfortunately oncologists don’t talk enough about it. This is a long topic, but a couple of things to remember:
- Ensure that kids get enough protein (around 1g per pound of body weight)
- Since they can’t take food supplements during the frontline treatment, try to get the good stuff in through fruits (e.g., kiwi, orange, lemon are high in vitamin C) and rainbow colored vegetables. We ‘ve been juicing (carrot, mixed greens) everyday for the last 5 months, and it’s helping our kid overcome some of the side effects of chemo…
On the mental / emotional front:
- Assure them that although their life sucks now, they will be *fine* as soon as the treatment is over. Often, kids (and we!) just need to feel assured that all will be well. Call fairytales cliched, but they are so assuring with their happy endings. We watched movies and shows that reinforced this message (e.g., Cinderella suffered, but she remained brave and kind, and eventually lived happily ever after; similarly with Beauty and the Beast; Peter Pan…). For older kids, try Harry Potter, Narnia, Never ending story, Lord of the rings… Movies are a fun way to reinforce messages like “never give up”, “all will be well”, “believe”, and “there will be a happily ever after”…
- Most kids turn to iPad or TV or video games to cope with the suffering. This is fine initially, but too much iPad = iMad = iSad = iBad. Instead, consider trying various fun activities to keep kids engaged and distracted from the pain and boredom. This post has some ideas on how to wean…
- During chemo, even normal day-to-day chores like brushing, eating food, medicines, walking etc can become challenging. This post has some ideas on converting boring rituals to colorful jewels and stickers, and helping kids choose good activities. Be creative and try your own incentives!
- Find ways to laugh and relax. Our kid loved art — she generated oodles of art and we decided to fill an entire wall of art. That was her way of staying busy and creative. Music and dance can also be very relaxing.
- Books can be an awesome friend, by opening up a world of comfort and imagination for kids who are struggling with disruption of their life. Here are some books that work well for 4-10 year olds.
- for kids that enjoy food, try DIY food projects — our kid loved watching cooking shows on Youtube, and we baked a lot of healthy treats from ginger almond cookies, cakes, to popsicles and ice-creams with different fruits and nuts. Get those young chefs out! (and be prepared to deal with a messy kitchen). This FB post has some stuff that our kid tried.
- DREAM! Make a nice wish list of all the things your kid would like to do once the treatment is over. This could be anything from a trip to Disneyland, sleepovers with your best friend, to traveling to exotic places around the globe. (Don’t worry about whether it’s doable, just get them to dream and *want* to try their best to get well soon).
- Tell kids that it’s completely OK to feel mad, angry and upset that things are not the way they want… Discuss how they might express themselves better. We found books like “Calm down time”, “Little Dinos don’t yell”, “Little monkey calms down” etc to be quite helpful. Reading it daily helped reinforce better ways to handle their emotions… We even made up our own calm-down song. We would just hug each other and sing this song until our kid calmed down 🙂 We also had a cool down spot (built a DIY tent near the bed) and put her favorite stuffed toys near it, so that she could self soothe…
These are just some ideas that have worked for us. We are sure there are many more. Let us know what worked for you!